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All Emotions Are Okay!
Childhood is filled with big emotions!
It may be uncomfortable to watch your child experience difficult emotions like sadness, anger, anxiety, or loneliness. Although it’s important to resist the urge to distract from or make those feelings go away, there are steps that we can take to support them in building a healthy, lifelong relationship with their emotions.
How To Help Your Child Learn To Express Emotions
Sometimes parents worry that talking about emotions will make the feelings bigger or encourage challenging behavior – you aren’t alone. However, acknowledging emotions helps children learn that feelings are okay, manageable, and safe to experience. These conversations give children the language and tools to better express themselves when they happen again (which they will!).
Here are some beginning steps in building your child’s emotional intelligence:
Expressing and labeling feelings throughout the day
Identifying feelings in others around them and in stories, movies, or television shows
Helping your child name their own emotions
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, express, and respond to emotions effectively. To help support the development of your child’s emotional intelligence, it's important to move away from “dismissing and denying” your child’s feelings and instead help them identify their emotions so they feel understood and validated (Siegel and Bryson, 2012).
Dr. Daniel Siegel, author of The Whole-Brain Child, developed a strategy called “Name It to Tame It.” The idea is to support, model, and teach your child about emotions. “Naming” the emotion and putting a label on what your child is feeling has a “taming” effect, as your child can share their experience and feel heard and understood. This helps a child make sense of and feel more in control of their emotions.
Children's brains are not fully developed, and therefore, communicating emotions is difficult. It is important to remember that the human brain is not fully mature until the mid-20s. Because of this, our expectations of children need to be realistic and age-appropriate.
Resources:
Emotional Intelligence Creates Loving, Supportive Parenting
Talking with preschoolers about emotions
8 Mindfulness Apps for Kids
The Whole Brain Child
Dr. Dan Siegal: If you can name it, you can tame it
Name it to Tame it: Labeling Emotions to Reduce Stress and Anxiety
Fostering Emotional Literacy
Exploring our Feelings
Identify and Express Feelings
Sesame Street: Feelings and Emotions (Youtube Videos)
Stages of Emotional Development
Why and How to Talk to Kids About Emotions
Apps for Literacy and Learning
