
Changing our child’s behavior starts with us.
Each of us has our own story. We have life experiences that have shaped us and made us into the people that we are. Wonderful moments that create our favorite memories, but also trauma, big or small, which creates triggers. These past experiences influence how we have previously reacted and how we will react in the future to our children.
“Triggers initiate the activation of our leftover or unresolved issues.”
Dr. Daniel Siegel (Parenting from the Inside Out)
As parents, we all have triggers whether we are aware of them or not. Some common triggers that our children could exhibit include;
- Talking back
- Ignoring
- Crying
- Whining
- Saying “no”
- Refusing
- Tantrums
The way our children behave, act, or the things they say can lead to emotional outbursts and negative reactions of our own. Some common responses we may exhibit to such triggers include;
- Irritation
- Anger
- Shouting
- Threats
- Punishments
- Giving in
- Ignoring
Being taken over by our emotions can get the best of us, causing us to react to our children more harshly than we ever expected to. (Daniel Siegel, Parenting from the Inside Out). It takes self-reflection to figure out our triggers. It might not be comfortable to think about what sets us off, however, it is important to take the time and energy to figure out what causes us to become triggered and find ways to better respond than unconsciously react. Recognizing these triggers, understanding our trauma, learning from our past experiences (good and bad), and participating in regular self-care activities will help us to increase our ability to self-regulate.